Is this a tongue-in cheek rhetorical question? I'd say almost 40 years in and out of studios, recording, producing and doing technician work would qualify as understanding how mic'ed amps sound. (Actually I thought we already covered this at least once during the course of this discussion...)
It's great to know how experienced you are. But you don't seem to like any of the profiles on the Kemper, which begs the question, "What's your idea of amp tone?" Previously, users have indicated that they want an "in the room" sound, which is why they could not gel with the Kemper.
I have no experience micing an amp, but I trust people like Sinmix and Michael Wagener to do it for me in a way that sounds like a real amp. They say it sounds like a real amp and I agree. I've had people blown away by the tones in this machine.
But you don't seem to like any of the profiles, forget about being unable to profile your own amp. Clips have been posted of how accurate profiling is, but you don't seem impressed based on your own results. So it's not so tongue-in-cheek at all and seems like a genuine question.
I mean, no one is ruling out the possibility you have golden ears. In fact, that's the answer to this thread that I'm leaning toward: you actually hear things that many of us do not in the profiles. But most of us are just perplexed by why your experience seems to be so bad. That's why there are so many questions on this thread, not because you're some kind of attention magnet, we are trying to figure out what has gone so wrong for you.